he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
