Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
