then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
