Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
