This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
