Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize