I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
