you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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