just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
