my vag is so smooth its legendary
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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