perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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