everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
