Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
