I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Randomize