if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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