dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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