She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
