Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize