You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
