i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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