I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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