Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
