I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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