Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
