Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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