I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
