I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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