if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize