Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize