I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
