And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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