Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am puke
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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