Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
When did angry sex become our thing?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
