you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
