i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
