So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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