That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
