I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
