You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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