apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize