Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Drake has all the answers
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
