he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
soo... how was my night?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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