Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
