Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize