I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
