I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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