she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This is classic penis vs brain.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
