If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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