3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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