when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
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I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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