just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
