i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
