how do flat chested girls get laid?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
