I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think your dad took our porno
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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