You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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