Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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