32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
