you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
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He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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